MV

My goshh.. I love Gardens Cafe. Its sooo pretty and romantic with everything white and elegant.

Goshhhhh.. Every one they open, there's sure a piano there, and in MV its a SPARKLY piano in a GIANT cage. Preedy no?


Go there someday! Food's reasonable and yummy!!~ xDD
Looking forward to go there again~~~

CNY

AHAHAHHA CNY IS COMING AND SCHOOL'S OUT!! 

-overflowing joy-

HEYOOOOOO!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh... NEW YEAR IS COMING MAN!.. I can't go visiting though.. Cause of personal reasons xD

Gah.. Can't spoil the fun for you guys even mine is right? Hope you guys can enjoy you chinese new year, and don't grow fat xD

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!! AND.. share with me some ang paus la..kesian la..

The things you'll never know.

   You changed sooooo much.. You're a brother of mine that i secretly admire. You're not a study person, you're a sports person. You were taller than me, now you're WAY taller. Your ever present warmth is getting cold. Your loving kindness is fading. You used to wait for me when I'm staying. You used to wait for me until i get in the car and disappear in the crowd of other cars. You used to hold my hand, and your cheeks will flash pretty pink. You used to knock into me and put your arm over my shoulder. You used to smile so sweetly at me when i come down. You walk to me and try to come out with a subject to say and we always end up in silence, you beside me, enjoying it together. You used to care for me. You used to love me. 
   Don't know if you'll ever know that i felt the same way. I don't think you ever will. As your hormones change you, you changed completely with it. Your warm eyes, turned ice cold. You kept your distance. You went before I ever came down. You mixed without noticing me. Every single time i came down and saw you, you looked at me like i was someone you knew and looked away, like someone you didn't care much about. Every time our eyes catch, you and i both started to look away, knowing that everything we have is fading. 
   You'll never know how deeply your sword pierced into my heart. You'll never feel how your frozen fire arrows shot me. You'll never understand what it feels like losing someone you love, let alone knowing that you're going to lose them. You'll never know how your kindness or sympathy or whatever you call it came like a wave and melt my heart, and taking it away with it. You'll never  ever ever understand, to feel, to know, that someone you love is leaving you.
   You can never fathom how much you broke me, how much you tore me into pieces and throw me up in the sky as i fall like confetti. I guess i should have read the signs, the signs others were throwing , the signs i saw, the sign i almost heard. But instead i threw them in a corner, being naive and not believing it. I write notes to God to tell him about you, to ask him what to do, to seek for advice. Yes, you're that important to me that i have to report to God about you. 
   Maybe you cared but maybe you did not. Maybe you loved and found out you couldn't. Maybe you lied to tell the truth. Maybe you just never felt it like i always felt around you. Now every time i see you, I try my best to push my tears right back up. Now every time i see you my heart aches so much i can't talk to you anymore. I'm so..so afraid of breaking in front of you, which will end our weak friendship even faster. I try to stop tearing in the dark night, praying that i won't lose you. Asking us to be like before, not wanting to go further. Friends is enough. Just friends.. 
   I don't want to lose you, as a friend or as someone I love. I just don't want you to leave us behind. I don't care if i have to be the only one who takes in the pain. I want you here. To always be here. 
   Like you said, I'm you younger older sister, you're my older younger brother. Just remain it that way. Just let it freeze there with your coldness now. And hope that i won't melt it away.     
    
Love you always.

LIAR.

I can only say that you're selfish and a liar. -.-

The Past.

Something made me clicked on you.. Wondering what they said were true.. I didn't. I was too scared to see that that was really you. Even though it's easy to confirm it was you, i didn't want to. I didn't want to remind myself who you were and what you said. I clicked on Febuary2009 and i went back there again. I've never came here reasoned i never had interest in these. Now i have, and so i do. I read it. Over and over and over again. All those you were saying, you were implying, was me. I'd never know you loved me so much. I'd never know you loved me that much. I made a vow not to fall in love because it always end up breaking. I saw the words. You knew what would happen. You knew we would never last. And yet you stayed. You kept that moment. You cherished it. You held it ever so tightly in your hands, afraid of losing it. Afraid that the day you Will lose will come. And all i did was the written opposite. A story loses something of each telling. Our story was told once. And it was gone. I now understand how disappointed you were. I now feel how broken it was for you. You kept telling me you love me. And my reply was always 'yeah la'. As if i was annoyed. I wasn't. Every time you said that, you can never see how i melt. In the matter of absolute fact, you could never see me. I acted naive as it was my first relationship. Me on the first roller coaster ride and you've rode it a hundred times. I don't know how you fell in love with me as you speak. I don't think i have anything nice for you to love. I'm not even close to the slightest nice; let alone perfect. You said I've hurt you. But dear, you hurt me too. Did you ever knew that? Every single blasted time you said that, i wanted to end it. You saying that is like.. You made me feel I'm not needed. That I'm just plain like that. You never made me feel special. We started too quickly and we ended soon enough. I know I've hurt you. I know I've done wrong. So here i apologize. An apology that you'll never see, never know, never hear,never miss. Two years it's been. We never made contact for two whole years. And I don't think i missed it. Then i remember what she said. How she said it. What you did. What you didn't do. How you played along with it like it was some kind of joke. How you care less or should i say never had a clue, how i felt about it. The topic was me. And you had a laugh. I think back and i realized how pathetic i was. How easily i trusted people. How easily I trusted YOU. Even though through all of this, I have to say thank you, and I have to give back all the 'I Love Yous' back to you. Thank you, for letting me realize that i needed to grow up. Thank you, for letting me see who you would become two years later. Thank you, for that moment i saw you sitting at the counter in the tuition center knowing you would never recognize me. Thank you for forgetting. Thank you for all the lies that made me stronger. Thank you for all the tears that made me think. Thank you for appearing in God's plan to pull me to reality.

Thank you for leaving us behind.